"Frost no, I'm not going to rehab!"

Awesome, just plain awesome.

"it took a lot of preparation for Bills wife to get ready to take him back."

You don't know what you're talking about Mothcleaner.

They gave her way better Shakespeare than that.

She's probably just getting ready for a date with Bayan.

"Paris Hilton celebrates her 30th birthday in style."

Yes, I know. I went with the obvious. Someone had to say it.

"This photo was just leaked, the Clinton family having kept Bill out of the media's eye since Hillary started doing the heavy-lifting in the family..."

Grandma got run over because she was high as a kite and blind as a bat.

"Really? You're gonna give me hell over this? Let me remind all you cheap little bastards that the only thing you gave me this year was a ridiculous set of pajamas with an ugly raccoon plastered across the front. Now leave your grandma alone while she tries to find some peace and, hopefully, can come to terms with the fact that Roe v. Wade came way too late for her."

Going out with a bang

People still wear sweat suits?

Mrs Claus needs something to do all night while her hubby is out.