Shakespeare, I got so excited about starting Secret Santa I forgot to wear my icon!

Also:

Despite my copious use of the word official, Secret Santa is not really an official Zug thingy anymore. If that turns off new people, I can assure you I've done this two years running now and only used three never used any of the addresses given to me for stalking purposes. I do sell them to marketing research, however.

Also, I got a couple emails about it last year and but I'm afraid there won't be a Stiffed Gabbers Fund again either (seriously, this board has some generous mother-Frosters). If you do get Stiffed (in the bad way, not the good way), you'll probably get a lame gift from me - nicely wrapped all the way from Jolly Old England! - and my heartfelt apology. Yeah, it sucks. I'm working on it.

On the upside, I do reveal names of Stiffers and that person will get mocked forever and ever about it. That's fun, right?

MWAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Can we start this a little earlier. The gifts I have in mind arestarting to ejaculate, scream, smell, decompose time sensitive.

You have been warned.

Its that time of year again. . .

To rotate the milk?

I'm in!








I'll also be taking part in Secret Santa 2009.

I'm in again.

p.s. - anyone who gets Dogs will dig his gifting skills.

Its that time of year again. . .

Annual bathing time again?

I signed up, all official and Shakespeare.

It's important for my Santa to remember that I love penguin salt and pepper shakers!



Oh, yeah.

I mean, I could always use more minions.

I'm in again, and I'll sign up the official way at some point. You'd think I'd do it now, since I'm at the computer right now and all. But that would be too easy, and would be what a sane, normal person would do. I wouldn't want people to start thinking I'm sane now, after all the work I've put in over the years to make sure that's not the case.

Hell, I don't know what I'm saying. It's not too early to start drinking, is it?

There is a rule somewhere that says if football is on tv, then it is not too early to drink.

p.s. - anyone who gets Dogs will dig his gifting skills.

I don't know about that, if I remember correctly Dogs is Jewish.

Meaning whatever he has given ut in the past has been surrepticiously "Borrowed" from the local Goodwill truck.

Attention All Livers!

My Secret Santa gift will be a bit more advanced than last year's. I plan to include the ability to play back multiple audio files, and would like to include some funny little snippets from other fellow Livers.

If you would like to be apart of my victim's gift, you can! Just record a short audio message and email it to the address in my profile. Try to keep it funny and under ten seconds or so.

Consider this example:



Fiver to any no0b who knows the voice!

Yeah! I want a free gift! Send it to me:

James Abbott McNeill
475 Washington Street
North Canton, Ohio 44720

I like fifes.

Attention All Livers

He can't hear you. He's sleeping off another drinking binge.

Yeah! I want a free gift! Send it to me: James Abbott McNeill 475 Washington Street North Canton, Ohio 44720 I like fifes.

Lifetime membership to NAMBLA? Check.
Membership in the (very plainly marked) sex toy of the month club? Check.
Pen pal requests sent to Leavenworth with self-addressed, stamped envelopes? Check.
Passing along the address above to the DEA and ICE? Check.
Oh yeah... I almost forgot...
Framed and signed picture of a chick using a fife on a guy? Check.

Make someone's Christmas merry, merry interesting? Check.

I'm in! I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! Bwahahahaha!

This Shakespeare's BANANAS!!!!

Twizzlers Frostin ROCK!

I'm in again. And hopefully this year I can think up something a tad more creative.

Unless I get pram. Then he's getting a pair of converse.

I have no money to do SS this year. SCB, if I email you a request for certain people's addresses for surprise handmade with love holiday cards and nude photos would that be kosher?

HO!

Wants to send Taco a couple of hugs n cuddles. Does he still have that address?

Bump for the list so far!

Bill the Squirrel
Dianada
Dinesh
Dogs Akimbo
Frogpop
Jeeni
KChiki
Manhole
Phuc
Ravos
Underwhere?

If you've sent an email and not received a reply from me or don't see your name on this list, then send it again because it's not come through.

I've also noticed that my changes to last year's rules (so I recycled, it's good for the environment!) didn't fully register when I republished the web document. You have until Monday, November 2 to get your name in, so get signing up!

Sorry Taco, I promise to keep all addresses confidential (only the Santa gets the info). Even if you do want them for nice purposes, I have to stick to that.

I just re-sent the request. I assume it went to your trash as part of a larger Jewish conspiracy to subvert Secret Santa Stalker.

I.will.not.be.stopped.

Ummm, take the hint Mung. It's Secret SANTA not Secret Holiday Armadillo. You and your dreidel and menorah can go play somewhere else.





(Email received this time. All faiths are welcome to join Secret Santa. Consider yourself added to the list.)

All faiths are welcome to join Secret Santa.

Except Jehovah's Witness. It is literally against their religion to accept gifts.

Okay Teenie Weenie...count Pubah in.

I'm not very creative (obviously), but loving and giving/work for a living.

If you're newish (different then Jewish, Mung. We don't want your kind) and wondering about price limits and stuff, there isn't one but the suggested value is $20 (yeah, yeah, same as in town). Ideally, gifts are creative, maybe humourous and generally tailored to your victim. Secret Santa hint threads generally pop up which can be of use. Also, I have elves who tell me things about your recipient's secret desires (it can get pretty sordid. Poor elves) if you really are at your wit's end.

Please send an email if you do actually want to be in Secret Santa, not just a post, otherwise I'll assume you're making a joke, seeing as this is a comedy board.



Shakespeare, I should probably make a joke now.







Nope. I got nothing.

I wish I could take part, but I'm bowing out again for another year. I'm too broke! I enjoy SS vicariously, though, so I hope everyone posts pictures and stuff. And those that stiff? I look forward to seeing them publicly humiliated.

And I finally get a chance to BUMP!

The list so far:

Bill the Squirrel
Dianada
Dinesh
Dogs Akimbo
Frogpop
Jeeni
KChiki
Manhole
Mung Champ
Peoriagrace
Phuc
Ravos
Spicey McHaggis
Straw
Underwhere?

If you think you should be on this list and you're not, send an email to santaslittlegabber@gmail.com. You only have until Monday to get your name in! Cave to peer pressure and come play with the cool kids.

Dear Puffin,
If you didn't get my e-mail (Puffin's and Sheephearders Pie refrence), let me know.

Pubah in Kansas City

I'm so excited and can't wait to see who I get! Do not be afraid; really I'm very nice. Mostly.

I got a rock...

YOU HAVE UNTIL MONDAY NOVEMBER 1ST TO GET YOUR NAME IN.


Monday is November 2. So do we have to let you know by Sunday the first, or do we get until Monday? Because I like to leave things until the last minute.

Already addressed that Whistler, are you losing your eyesight, gramps?

I've also noticed that my changes to last year's rules (so I recycled, it's good for the environment!) didn't fully register when I republished the web document. You have until Monday, November 2 to get your name in, so get signing up!


The list as of this moment:

Bill the Squirrel
Dasypygal
Dianada
Dinesh
Dogs Akimbo
Frogpop
Jeeni
KChiki
Manhole
Mung Champ
Peoriagrace
Phuc
Professor Nutbutter
Pubah
Ravos
Shell Belle
Spicey McHaggis
Straw
Underwhere?
Whistler P. McManus


One day left to get on the list!

Bikini,
Please provide my mailing address to Taco. Even though she didn't ask for it.

Better safe than sorry.

I love participating in the Secret Santa. It gives me a reason to stalk learn more about my victim.

What have I gotten myself into?

I can't wait to find out who my victim is! Keeping my uterus in a jar for all these months is going to be so worth it!

I'd been wanting to get into your uterus for some time now. But I'd never invisioned that uterus would be in a jar.

So, uneasy...

Unless I get pram. Then he's getting a pair of converse

Well, you know, creativity isn't everything.

Yay Secret Santa!! When do the emails go out?

Arg it has been the craziest week! Sorry to leave you all in suspense for so long, here is THE FINAL LIST:

Bill the Squirrel
Dasypygal
Dianada
Dinesh
Dogs Akimbo
Frogpop
Jeeni
KChiki
Lord Blackadder
Manhole
Mung Champ
Peoriagrace
Phuc
Professor Nutbutter
Pubah
Ravos
Shell Belle
Spicey McHaggis
Stone Cold Bikini
Straw
Underwhere?
Whistler P. McManus


You will still have your victim's name by tomorrow, as promised. Sadly, this means you only have one day to email me if I've left you off by mistake so you best be quick and you best all be excited!

I'm in! I'm really, really in!

]



Thank you! I can't wait to pop my cherry on ZuG!

Hmmm...sent email, got nothing back.

Did I somehow get Trae in advance?

Umm...this is a little awkward, Thud. We were kind of hoping you'd get the hint....

Hint noted.

Thud, I did not get an email from you! I've emailed you and I can still squeeze you in.

I've done the first half of the names in my lunch break at work so if your board name is between the letter A-L, then you should have gotten your victim by now! If you are in that group and you haven't, please email me again.

The rest of you will have to wait for another four hours or so, sorry! I need to get paid so I can afford to buy my victim something more than a rock. Actually, with the cost of postage being what it is, it'll probably be more like a pebble. A very very small pebble. Maybe closer to sand. Or dust.

Now, aren't you all hoping I got your name?

A pebble? Like, a fruity pebble?

You're a fruity pebble.


Everyone should have their victim's name now (including you, Thud.) If you don't, it's because I find you irrelevant let me know right away.