The First And Worst Halloween Prank Of 2009

The First And Worst Halloween Prank Of 2009
A funny link by Luke McKinney | 10/22/2009 02:49 PM | 2120 views

"How high you can lift a corpse" should never be a part of your pranking. We at ZUG appreciate those who make a big effort for fun, but more in terms of "amount of preparation" or "number of people involved". "Kilograms of dead matter per meter" is not a Halloween unit you should be using unless you're actually Michael Myers, in which case HEY LOOK behind you it's your sister! Better go chase her, no time to read the author name!

Pictured: not the moose in the following prank. Because it's on the ground. And still has a face.

Anchorage police responded to reports of a decapitated, mutilated body on top of a downtown business on October 7th. Yes, that's mutilated as well as decapitated. The police then announced that no-one should panic as the severed spinal column and collection of ribs probably came from a moose instead of a person, and it was probably a prank. Maybe they breed them tougher in Alaska, but when it's announced that there's someone capable of hoisting a corpse onto rooftops and eviscerating it so badly that people are only "probably" sure it's a moose, and that that person is prepared to do so for a joke, panic is going to be the very first thing on your mind. (Not counting the perpetual first thought of "Get out of Alaska", which this incident will only strengthen.)

Police sketch of suspect

Lieutenant Dave Parker also suggested that perhaps someone simply wanted to skin a moose under the midtown sky, and apparently did so in a calm tone of voice as if that was something sane people did. So we're left with these options:

a) The murdered moose-pieces were a gory prank on Anchorage residents
b) Dave's reaction was a prank on the reporters
c) The entire thing is some Alaskan prank on the parts of the world that don't carry skinnin' knives in the city.

Lt. Dave Parker. If you want a city where you can dismantle living beings, scatter them over the city, and the police just say "Oh, those crazy kids!", move to Anchorage.

And now the link:
http://www.adn.com/news/alaska/wildlife/story/965094.html

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