Toyota's Ten Million Dollar Prank
A comedy article
by Luke McKinney | 10/30/2009 03:41 PM | 3274 views
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A multinational corporation dispatching lunatics to harass a woman isn't a prank, it's the plot of a Steven Seagal movie -- and if only someone had told that to Toyota, they might have saved ten million dollars. The automaker somehow started with "let's advertise our car" and ended up with "having furries and violent cultists cyber-stalk potential customers," proving two things: Toyota hates selling cars, and their planning parties are wild.
Pictured: Toyota's PR executives, "Bestiality furry" and "The Wolf Shirt Made Flesh"
Toyota's "Other You" campaign let people prank their friends into believing that wanted criminals and conspiracy theorists were out to get them, driving cross-country en route to the victim's house while bombarding them with e-mails and phone calls. If your first response to being hunted down is "What brand of car is the psychopath driving?", congratulations, you're Toyota's imaginary target market. Alas, Los Angeles resident Amber Duick didn't make the "Madman chasing me/Buy a mid-range vehicle" connection and is now suing Toyota for ten million dollars.
Actual Web site. "Would you like to play a trick on a friend?" should read "Would you like to get Toyota sued?"
Toyota's lawyers argue that she agreed to the stunt. They way that works is that your "friend" inputs your contact information into the Your Other You site (so the real prank is a lifetime's supply of spam), and you're mailed a personality test. By clicking on the "accept terms and conditions" of this quiz you're agreeing to have a hundred billion dollar company screw with you in any way they like -- thereby confirming what we've always known about those license agremeents.
The "hunted by cultist for company's amusement" is between the bits about your soul and firstborn.
To recap: Toyota sicced a professional fake cultist on this woman, sent her hoax bills for violent damage from places she's never been, and expected to come out of it with more money than they started. Amber spotted the flaw in this plan and sued them instead, citing stress, distress, difficulty sleeping and all the other bullShakespeare people claim when they're trying to make money from a company.
And you know what? It doesn't matter if her response is the most blatant cash-grab since Goldfinger attacked Fort Knox. It doesn't matter that her lawyer describes heart-breaking stress, her tortured spirit, how she feared for her life, but declines to comment when asked "Why didn't she just call the police?" When an automaker decides that a compact hatchback warrants creating a wanted criminal and a national web of intrigue? They need to be sued hard before they release a mutagenic virus to advertise an SUV, and heaven help us when the minivan comes out.
Besides, escaped killers are really more a sports car situation.
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Like This? Rate It!
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Chuckleworthy
5 votes
2.6
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Amusing
1 votes
1.0
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Hydrant-monkey
10/30/2009 04:24 PM
First Pearl Harbor and now this? The nerve of these people!
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0 votes
0.0
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Pants
10/31/2009 07:51 AM
(I didn't read the whole schpiel. Sorry.)
The theme seems to be about how the marketing department for the Japanese is ineffective.
So I say:
"First of all it is Japan."
"Second of all it is Japan."
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Funny
1 votes
3.0
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John Hargrave
10/31/2009 09:54 AM
Funny article.
I remember when this Web site came out. I tried to prank myself, just to see if it would work. You had to fill out about 10 screens of information, including your victim's e-mail address, phone number, mailing address, names of friends, and tons of other personal information. (I'm surprised that no one sued them for privacy violations.)
After I did all that, it never worked. I never got a harrassing e-mail, phone call, or snail mail letter.
AND THAT IS WHY I WILL NEVER BUY A TOYOTA AGAIN!!
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0 votes
0.0
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wulver
11/03/2009 02:02 AM
Aw.. It was good, and I would have liked to read more..
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0 votes
0.0
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LinLorienelen
11/04/2009 04:49 AM
In Soviet Russia, car rides in YOU.
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